Crash Victims Info

I say, should members of the female persuasion be allowed to drive an automobile?

This evening I took my lady friend Lady Victoria Allingham Fortescue Granger for a driving lesson in the Bentley. She had been leaving some not so subtle hints for quite a while now that she would like to learn to drive, such as referring quite bawdily to 'taking control of my gear stick' and the like. My dear friends, as I write this I am gulping down a triple gin and tonic owing to her quite palpable inability to take command and control of an automobile. On getting behind the wheel she immediately turned into some class of a flibberty gibbert, taking both sides of the road and damn near crashing into the vicar who was partaking of his daily constitutional. The poor chap even gave us the V sign, presumably because he's chairman of our village 'Campaign For Nuclear Disarmament', which has been recently set up again owing to those blasted North Korean commies. When we eventually got back home the fear I had endured meant I was compelled to make a quick trip to the bathroom but alas I was too late. That woman has shortened my life by at least 10 years tonight. I shall never again give her the expertise of my driving knowledge. My dear friends, I am pleading with you to contact your local Member of Parliament so that legislation can immediately be introduced to prohibit females from driving. I should think the world would be a far safer place if this comes to pass.

Public Comments

1. My wife drives
2. I suggest you purchase a space shuttle for the good lady instead. No vicars in space you know, what ho!
3. ... I can't decide if you're just really weird or having a laugh. Because if you are (havign a laugh), I don't really get it. Um. If you're serious (hope not) girls can drive. Many of us are good at it.
4. I couldn't agree with you more old chap! Driving is a mans job and should be left as such. What on earth will be next? Men doing household chores!
5. Just because one female can't drive doesn't mean that all of them can't. With practice and patience she will learn. Like everything else in this world it takes time. Driving is not easy.
6. In the USA women pay less insurance due to the fact that they are safer drivers than their male counterparts, so obviously I don't agree with you, and neither do the insurance companies Here's a tip: . In the future try making your questions more concise, who has the time to read all this??
7. HAHAHAHA!!!!! you are friggin hilarious!! I agree sometimes,but I think I'm a very good driver, parallel park on one try and everything. but most of my lady friend drivers are idiots i must say.
8. Women ARE better drivers...as well you know.....lol ~
9. With a bit of luck 'she' will run over you and maybe knock some sense into you.
10. No. Once you teach the girls how to ride a bicycle and then how to drive a car, they'll be demanding the vote and we all know where that will lead don't we? Yes, to the House of Commons and a fat expenses account with no questions asked. This is not the way to teach our womenfolk how to manage the household accounts. There was a time when women had a role in life and that was to be a wife and mother. Now they want to be like our beloved Warrior Queen Boudicca. It's all going to end in tears.
11. Good God..... is that really what is going on these days....? I suppose i should venture off the estate from time to time and perhaps see this spectacle for ones self .... My goodness, women driving cars... whatever next, you will be telling me they have the vote too no doubt, what!! It will never stick old boy, far too complex.
12. it is always a bad idea to let a woman drive as they have no sense of direction
13. Dear Sir, A driver you may think you are, but surely the Lady would fair better with a driving school instructor. Not wishing to add to your further embarrassment, and ineptitude to guide the Lady in the art of taking to the wheel, perhaps one should carry on oneself at all times the paddi-pads. Thus making the Lady able to channel her mind to driving instead of mopping the floor every time you get caught short. Actually the MPs have more to contend with at the moment, don`t you agree. They too are up to their armpits in xxxx!!.
14. Jolly good question, old chap! Lot's of studies have been done, and the answers to gender related driving questions keep changing. It depends on how the study is set up. I hate driving. I passed my driving test at age 33. It was the first time I took the test. If I'd gone for the test at age 19, maybe I'd have become a confident driver. Anyway, consider this. When the motor car was invented, how many women engineers were there? Close to zero. Who designed the cars, the dashboard, the roads, the signage, the YIELD sign. Men, men, men. Maybe things would be very different if women had been involved in the design process.
15. Why any self-respecting lady should decide to take the wheel of a motorised vehicle heaven knows! How vulgar! One has chauffeurs for this sort of thing, surely? One cannot possibly drive whilst simultaneously looking in boutique windows and talking to one's friends on the phone and fumbling in one's handbag for lipstick. Besides, parking is for the lower classes. I have my driver stop outside Fortnum and Mason's while I pop in for several hours trying on outfits. He simply drives around until I require him to take me to the hairdresser's. Though, old chap this does not mean that I couldn't park an oversized vehicle in my entrance if I wanted to. Toodle pip.
16. Me Lord, The only female persuasion that is eligible to drive a car is the lady Danica Patrick, She is the Goddess of the Gear stick Sir
17. God no my boy! women hath so little intelligence that learning to drive would be an impossible task for them, I can imagine it now. you tell them to watch the road and they will say "but I'm busy putting makeup on, I just want to look pretty" they dost not realise they will not look pretty when laying on the ground dead old boy! in future I would suggest keeping your woman locked in the house all times and give her plenty of cleaning to do as it is what the womenfolk live for!
18. My good sir, you have overlooked one small but weighty detail in preparing her for her driving lesson. Why she must suffer from from hysterics. Consequentially, her physician must have given her a nerve tonic to calm her hysteria. An inexperienced driver mustn't drive after imbibing such a nerve tonic.
19. Only if the frame of the car is made of foam rubber.
20. My Lord! A true Lady should NEVER have to drive herself anywhere. Where are your manners sir?
21. I say, should members of the idiot male persuasion be allowed to drive huge trucks on the road that they can't handle and almost cause accidents in?
22. The best thing to watch is when they attempt to "parallel park," who needs TV or the movies, when you can watch that? ...and, it's free, too!
23. I have noticed this is a growing trend amongst my fellow women folk. I would never imagine myself capable of such a complex task. I certainly thing your good lady needs to be kept in her rightful place, when not otherwise engaged entertaining yourself. Perhaps tapestry, or shopping would be something more suited to her. I think she ought to be given a good talking to for putting you and the good vicar through such traumatic experiences. There`s a thought, perhaps you could have the vicar exorcise her, as it is highly likely she has been possessed by some demonic entity which has made her believe in such tomfoolery.
24. Perhaps she wasn't meaning she wanted to drive your Bentley... I can think of another gear stick to which she may have been referring to... Next time, let her give that a spin!
25. Only chauffeurs and gentlemen should be permitted to drive an automobile old boy. I'm not being sexist as I'm a firm believer that women folk should exclusively have the rights to child birth and housework, fairs fair. I did contemplate taking child birth off them but thinking about the alternatives brought a tear to my eye. Tip top.
26. Absolutely not. Women cannot drive. -.-
27. It is impossible to teach the female gender anything. They know it all.
28. I like you more than the other chap on here
29. Watch the very informative public information film by Harry Enfield, entitled 'Women, for Pity's Sake Don't Drive' It'll tell you everything you need to know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4
30. Well if we can't drive, you will just have to let us have the services of your chauffeur. How else are we to get to out ladies lunches and afternoon tea dances?
31. Yes i like to be on top of the guy
32. The core of this monstrous state of affairs is the common misplaced notion that females should be permitted opinions what? Why anyone would ever conceive that it might be a good idea to allow a female within earshot, inside a motorised carriage, let alone attempt to control one, is quite beyond me. I suppose mental illness is an inevitability, especially with long exposure to an ungagged concubine. During the 20's I offered my reliable services of human clearance to the high command when that damned Ozzy Commie Pankhurst was wittering on about something or other becoming more than a passing irritation. When she eventually locked herself to the outer perimeter of Buck house I begged for a round of target practise for me and me chums but Alas the nagging battle axe got her way, resulting in women having the right to breathing or something equally odd! What a damned stupid mistake what? I may chain myself to the railings of Buck house and demand that all females have their lips stitched at birth! Further more they should beyond any shadow of a doubt be withdrawn from the education system entirely. Why waste billions on the vague hope that women may one day be able to think properly when we could be diverting the cash into something more beneficial and definite like training Chimpanzees? This country has gone seriously downhill since the death of Henry the 8th in my opinion! Hopperty hoop Over the top lads!
33. Cheers, my dear boy, so nice to run into you here; it's been ages, darling, has it not? You simply MUST pop round for cocktails when you have a moment. Anyhow, with regard to the question, I must say that as a woman, I feel it is my privilege and right to avoid learning of such a menial task as driving, which I have always felt was a useless and dreary thing - all those gauges, knobs, and so forth. A true lady does not dispose herself to these type of mechanical labor. I find it preferable instead to be driven in my Rolls by my trusty (and might I add handy) driver, Paolo.